Ivy Style proudly brings back its famous Battle Of The Wits contest. The prize for this contest is nothing less than an ALL CAPS AND EXCLAMATION POINT-DESERVING CUSTOM SHIRT OF YOUR CHOICE BY MICHAEL SPENCER!
Contest is open to those who don’t already own a shirt from Michael Spencer. To enter, simply use the leave-comment feature to write a caption to the above image. For example, “Your pants! They… they don’t have cuffs!” You get the idea.
Since wit is subjective, winner will be chosen at random. Contest closes Saturday night at midnight eastern time. Good luck! — CHRISTIAN CHENSVOLD
It wasn’t the cat that ate the canary.
“Good Lord, sneakers with a suit?! Someone call the fashion police!”
You’ve purchased, a Red Fleece oxford! The horror
“You actually bought a pair of wool drawstring suit trousers at Brooks Brothers?”
“But Doctor, I have never heard of anyone developing an allergy to Oxford cloth!”
I wondered if VEA would show up to flog one of his whipping boys. Hey Andrew, I’m off to Rowing Blazers HQ today, want me to get you anything?
“You’re telling me that… *ALL* the shirt collars are this small now?”
Yikes! My mother wears combat boots with argyle socks.
“What was I thinking?! She went to a state school! Mother will not be pleased.”
I forgot my dickey!
“Oh, my God! You starched your oxford?”
“Politically divisive comments on an Internet message board?!”
YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT ALL OF THE OCBD COLLARS ARE TOO SHORT AND TOO SMALL WITH NO ROLL, AND THAT ALL OF THE PANTS ARE BOTH TOO LONG IN THE LEG, AND TOO LOW IN THE RISE, AND HARDLY A SACK COAT IN SIGHT, AND WHAT’S MORE; IT IS ALL MADE OF POLYESTER OR NON-IRON AND NO ONE EVEN KNOWS ANY BETTER?!?!?! ARGH!!! MADNESS!!! MADNESS, I SAY!!!!! THE HORROOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
” If the shoes are black, the belt has to be…..?!?”
“Think, man, think. It said “business casual”, but this IS California, so…..”
“You said the students were wearing pajamas…TO CLASS?!? Surely the fraternity men and other big men on campus stepped in to stop this madness…wait, what? THEY WERE THE ONES LEADING THE CHARGE?!?!?”
Robert Mueller STARCHES his Oxford cloth??!!
The illustrated guide to HOW MANY tie knots?!
Sweatpants, man? REALLY?
I just saw what students are wearing on campus now and I’m shocked!
Pretty good start!
WHIT. CORFAM. SHOES. Erp!!!
Fused Collar!!! No Front Pocket!! Weak collar roll!! Stab me in the shower.
“People think I’m gay because I dress nice ?”
“You do not wear garters???”
Someone got chocolate syrup on my white bucks!!
“I just stuffed Kandy Korn in my underpants and…I like it.”
“How do you mean? You prefer the Paul Whiteman version?”
The moment you realize your shirt is wrinkle free
Get the gas jockey from the men’s – that guy with the ladies blue jeans and bowling shoes is putting unleaded gasoline in his Corvette!!
“Alfred! Pull up your pants!”
The cap and gown! They’re made of… 100% Polyester!
Oh no, the sweatpants, they’re Brooks?1
Dear God! F.E Castleberry retweeted me!
POLYESTER JACKET WITH DARTS, WING COLLARED POLY-COTTON SHIRT, SHORT-FAT POLYESTER TIE, POLYESTER PANTS WITH PLEATS AND NO CUFFS, WITH GUCCI KNOCK OFF SHOES? WTF CC!
Are those your mother’s add a beads you’re wearing?
Some day men will buy and purge clothing based on fashion trends that set by designers and manufacturers. Are you psycho?!
When your cassette deck eats your favorite PreFab Sprout tape
You don’t like jazz and football?
All my adult life I’ve been wearing clothes made by Jewish tailors?
He mispronounced sprezzatura!
Sta-Prest dungarees! How gauche!
“Hmmm. Is that the smell of money, or the maid on my fingers?”
Mr. Hitchcock, please, I can’t wear Mother’s dress,it’s polyester.
Her: “Do you really need another striped shirt? They kinda look all the same to me.”
“Oh my God! Is this the Brooks Brothers runway show at Pitti Uomo in Florence?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I love sack suits, but THAT is just a sack.”
” I think, I think, I’m gonna pu —uk.”
(While watching the bachelor.)
“I think, I think, I’m gonna pu-ke.”
(After watching the bachelor.
That face you make when CC does Ivy Chic
(Disclaimer – for the record I like the Ivy Chic rigs, but you know, you’re wearing black in Tradsville.)
My reaction whenever Brooks Brothers or J. Press produce something to attract the younger crowd.
Football pads under a sportcoat? Or just heavily padded shoulders?
The contest is only open to those who DON’T already own a Michael Spencer shirt?
“Are those…..diamonds. On your bezel…….?” (Presses Security button)
“Did you just tell me to Go To Hell?”
“When I said ‘inch and three quarters’, I was talking about the CUFFS!”
“I saw the future and it’s AWFUL… their TELEPHONES! They all just stare at their TELEPHONES ALL DAY!”
When she throws away your perfectly frayed ocbd because it was “looking taty”.
My face when she says,
“Who cares about a hidden third blazer button?”
Ye gods! Denim in the dining area? What has this club come to?!
“THAT was the new Brooks Brothers catalog???”
“Maybe if I cover my mouth I won’t have to comment on the comments…”
“Is that buckle engine-turned or are you just pleased to see me?”
Oh Hitch, you want me to wear that dreadful dress. I have some better ones at home.
“I had one grunch, but the eggplant over there”
“It smells like a fish died and all the other fish sent flowers.”
Alternately: “He b-brought my oaty porridge cold, mummy….I didn’t mean to KILL him!”
I never knew a Shaggy Dog sweater burned so quickly!
Hmm… Well, I guess no second date.
I leant you my argyle socks but then you wore them with sandals?
Sorry for exploding out my fake masticators like that but you made me laugh!
Rain coat, inside out, that is simply so… so… beautiful
“Good God… Muffy Aldrich still thinks of herself as authentic New England WASP royalty?”
My reaction when someone asks me why I am so dressed up.
You wear socks and penny loafers, at the the same time??
“Crocs,” he though. “Why did it have to be crocs?”
“Three buttons on the cuff? Dear God!”
“Do striped trousers go with an odd jacket?”
Did he really ask “What’s the difference between Preppy and Ivy”?
“Your khakis are pleated, and what’s more they’re un-cuffed!”
“I’ll just ship these 5 year old oxblood Bean mocs back for an exchange, I won’t even need to clean ’em up.”
I thought “cuckold” was some sort of chicken dish!? What did I agree to?!?!?!?
“Ouch, I think I CHIPPed my tooth!
OMG. It’s 11:59 p.m. and Kiel James Patrick hasn’t posted an Instagram pic today.
My word…GTH trousers with embroidered Nick Sullivans and Thom Brownes
DAVID DENNISON IS REALLY WHO????
A $300 water bill?! Sorry, mother. I must have left the water running somewhere.
GONE AWAY IS THE BLUEBIRD.
HERE TO STAY IS A NEW BIRD.
“Brooks discontinued it?”
How can I possibly survive?
I’ve lost my copy of TOPH!
The Moment of Decision: “Okay – I told the bridge keeper that my name is Arthur, King of the Britons; that my quest is to seek the perfect Oxford Cloth Button Down Shirt; but now, his third question — does he mean the African or European Swallow? Hmm…. Maybe I should just ask ….”
“Is it wrong to think Tom Ford is hot?”
“Darts…darts…why does it have to have darts?”
“God save me from this cruel fate. It’s sacksuit and whiskeydent arguing about JFK again!”
He discovered Mother playing with his trilby.
“Oh dear, that fellow just said J. Crew was “trad””
“L.L. Bean did WHAT to their returns policy?”
“Mother! Oh, God! Mother! Blood! Blood! The jacket is ruined – that is not how bleeding madras works, mother!”
“Ohmigod – s-s-s-so THAT’S the origin of the hook vent?!”
“Rugby?! York Street?! Red Fleece?! AAH!! I need Michael Spencer!”
Your madras doesn’t bleed?
“Another person trying to “pull off” sneakers with a suit! And wait, is that a hoodie under a suit jacket??? The horror! Damn that GQ magazine!!!”
IF ONLY WE COULD HAVE MORE AND BETTER CONSERVATIVES IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. PEOPLE LIKE JFK.
IF ONLY WE COULD HAVE MORE AND BETTER LIBERALS IN THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY. PEOPLE LIKE TR.
He said his name is Joel and, egads, he called me a snowflake. Could it be THAT Joel?
Normal Man Reads Ivy Style Comment Section
Your collar…it’s a noose !
Winner announced Monday!
Holden, did you just fart?
A random number has been generated, and the winner is Not Ut Sibi. Please email me ASAP.
Thanks for playing everyone. We should do this more often.
So if this is based on a random number, is it therefore correct to assume that the more times one posts the more likely that one will land on the lucky number? Asking for a friend.
For the youngsters among us:
“Non ut sibi” = Not to be
In all previous contests, I stated that you are on the honor code with one entry per person.
I forgot to say it this time, and, frankly, just assumed it.
This was my first. I’ll never forget it.
Mother ! Mother ! It was horrifying ! All of the boys ridiculed me because my collars were unlined, and didn’t look crisp like their’s… and and my shirts have to ironed !! I can’t go back there….please don’t make me……
“Oh, no! Mother’s dress! It, it … it has … DARTS!”
hhahahaa is there any fashion police around here!