Privileged Vessel: College Rejects Yacht Club Proposal As Elitist

thurston

The student government at Pitzer College, a small private school located in Los Angeles, has rejected the request to fund a yacht club on the grounds that it would be inherently exclusive and that the term “yacht” is offensive.

Thurston Howell III would probably agree.

The college plans, however, to fund a new tattoo club.

Happy Columbus Day! — CC

21 Comments on "Privileged Vessel: College Rejects Yacht Club Proposal As Elitist"

  1. CC writes: “Happy Columbus Day!”

    Thanks, Christian, and same to you!

    But those inclined to NOT enjoy a solemn Native American Expulsion Remembrance Day should refrain from wearing white male supremacy symbols such as OCBD shirts and shaggy dog sweaters.

  2. I’d like to be in both clubs to be honest.

  3. William Richardson | October 12, 2015 at 12:55 pm |

    They wouldn’t want to be in a club that would have them as a member.

  4. Did they think to call it a “sailing club” instead? This is a tiny private school, tuition almost $49K/yr., and the student senate is worried about “elitism”?

  5. It’s California; they’re all messed up out there.

  6. There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man…said no one ever.

    Listen, nothing is ever any fun unless you can exclude people. This site included.

  7. William Richardson | October 12, 2015 at 2:08 pm |

    Judging from the “Mission and Values” section of the Pitzer College website, there will be nothing close to anything resembling an actual normal American male attending the college. No surprise that the tattoo club would be approved over the yacht club.

    Cheers,

    Will

  8. Someone please remind me–where is California?

  9. William Richardson | October 12, 2015 at 2:27 pm |

    @S.E.

    West coast of the United States. Point?

  10. I had forgotten.

  11. Bags' Groove | October 12, 2015 at 3:16 pm |

    In days of old you could identify a sailor by his tattoo….or his parrot on his shoulder.

  12. William Richardson | October 12, 2015 at 3:31 pm |

    @Bags

    From the movies I have seen over the years, they had piercings as well.

  13. Bags' Groove | October 12, 2015 at 4:13 pm |

    @ William
    I blame the hardtack……and grog! Put ‘im in the long boat ’til he’s sober!

  14. But going to a colelge with an annual tuition of $37,500 and an average high school GPA of 3.93 is not exclusive?

  15. As you can see by my misspelling, my education was less expensive.

  16. William Richardson | October 12, 2015 at 6:18 pm |

    @Bags

    Heave the mainbrace and splice the binnacle!

  17. Mitchell S. | October 12, 2015 at 7:03 pm |

    TH3 really knows how to pull off the Ivy ascot (button-down and all)! Nothing at all like FEC and his neckerchief and Panama hat at the G. Bruce Boyer event.

  18. Hey, it takes a lot of money to worry about being elitist these days!

  19. Ward Wickers | October 12, 2015 at 11:55 pm |

    New Announcement: On Thursday night, the Pitzer Tattoo Club members will be displaying personal tattoos of their favorite yachts. The event is called “The common peoples boat tats” or “Sailing ink for very rich, wannabe blue collar landlubbers.” The Tat Club would like all to enjoy the festivities. Come see the skin art depicting ketches, schooners, catamarans and dinghies. A special room has been set up for Thurston Howell, III who will reveal his array of lifeboat tats up and down his bod (he has 47 under his OCBD and cuffed khakis). Several tattoo artists will be on hand to carve your skin with PHAT lines and CHROMA colors for a nominal fee. Don’t miss it!

  20. I just realized that this story is the “perfect storm” for the Fox audience: people who, in a million years, could never afford a yacht indignantly shaking their fists at the ‘elitist’ ivory-tower (i.e. book learnin’) for: a) being politically correct; and b) stifling the acquisition of aforesaid yachts they’d never be able to buy. If only we could somehow work religious persecution into the mix (Christian only please), then we’d really be getting somewhere.

  21. I’m guessing it would be politically incorrect to introduce Tat Club members to the fine art of scrimshaw?

    @ Bags @ William

    I was once told sailors earned their ear piercings by rounding the horn of Africa and that the direction they passed would determine what ear was pierced. Could be fact or fiction–much like California.

Leave a Reply