Goodbye Go-To-Hell: A Summer Farewell In Verse


As the warm days of the year gradually come to an end, we fondly put away the carefree items of summer. As a way of saying so long to the wild fabrics and whimsical embroideries of summer clothing, I’ve composed a little poem.

Well, sort of.

Today my Google vanity alert tipped me off to a story from a Chinese fashion website that mentions “Damned Dapper,” my go-to-hell story for The Rake. I can’t say I’ve ever clicked the translate button on a Chinese website before, but I did, and the results were garbled nonsense.

I was about to close the browser window when something magical happened. Words and phrases began to stand out, linguistic nuggets composed accidentally by a software program. It was the magic of poetry.

Li Po is the ancient Chinese poet who went rowing one night while drunk, saw the moon’s reflection on the water and thought it was drowning, then dove in to save it and ended up drowning himself. Or so the legend goes.

I’m no Li Po, but with a little inspiration I was able to cut and paste this translated apparel trend report and craft a terse little verse about the power of preppy clothing to rejuvenate an aged and forlorn man visiting the campus of his alma mater.

The Green Frog
By, Google Translate, & Christian Chensvold

On a bad first line to hell

With exagerrated movement irregularities

He donned the shorts with the green frog.

Everything merely implied in his casual stroll

As in the wacky style he appeared

And was swept up

To regain his youth on the campus wind.

Happy end of summer. I wore a sweater today. It’ll be tweed and flannel time before you know it. Bon week-end. — CC

11 Comments on "Goodbye Go-To-Hell: A Summer Farewell In Verse"

  1. Ah, yes. Labor Day has come and gone, so the white (and white-ish) pants, white shoes, off-white jacket, seersucker suit, and madras ties have been put away. However, here in Krazy Kalifornia (at least the part where I live), the summer fog has ended and we finally have warm weather. I can’t put away my linen trousers, jackets, or shirts yet—it’s too hot!

    Today, I’m wearing a linen blazer, cotton knit tie, chinos, and suede shoes. Lightweight woolens are also in the rotation, but just thinking of wearing tweed or a sweater makes me break out in a sweat.

  2. “Goodbye Go-To-Hell: A Summer Farewell In Verse”


  3. Today felt like the first day of Autumn here in Boston. I broke out my tweed sport coat, chambray shirt, corduroy tie, and Chelsea boots. I sent my go-to-hell, duck-embroidered pants and patchwork Madras jacket to the cleaners.

  4. That was actually a really fantastic poem. And hey, gth isn’t really limited to the warmer months, now is it? There’s lots of bright cords out there.

  5. Exaggerated movement irregularities? Sounds like this fella has been doing himself rather well on shellfish and summer cocktails, and is paying the price in the WC.

  6. universitystripe | September 8, 2013 at 12:45 pm |

    It’s too early for a sweater here in the South, so I will proudly don my madras and boat shoes until October 1.

  7. As another resident of the Perpetual Summerlands, I wish I could wear a sweater right now.

  8. The legend of Li Po sounds like a John Cheever story. Cheever used to use tales he heard in his AA meetings to the consternation of fellow members. Good stuff!

  9. Nicely done Mr. C.C. It’s always tough putting away the good weather clothes, knowing what’s in store!

  10. Orgastic Future | September 9, 2013 at 12:59 pm |

    I shed a tear as I packed away my ode to ROY G BIV, “Go-to-helliage” last night…. I’ll miss you seersuckers of the brightest hues! I’ll always love you patchworked madras that yells “DEAL WITH IT!”

  11. It’s in the 90’s in Chicago this week. No sign of fall. And speaking of which, fall doesn’t arrive until September 22 so until then, it’s summertime and summer clothes in our household, white pants

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