Eminently suited menswear author G. Bruce Boyer has opined eloquently about the Old Money Look. But now with the economy completely FUBAR, both old and new money can finally schlep around together in the Lost-Money Look.

To get the look, simply stop buying new clothes for the next five years.

Wear your shirts until they’re frayed, your tweed until it looks like an ancient oriental rug, your footwear until it has that Boston Cracked Shoe look. Since you won’t be living well off the land (in fact, you might be sleeping on it), you will also lose weight during this time, so discard any clothes that don’t fit. You’ll wear out the remaining clothing even faster.

The American economy is largely kept afloat by people buying things they don’t need, often with money they don’t have. So the effect of our collectively adopting the Lost-Money Look will be to drag out the economy’s FUBAR status another five years, for a grand total of 10 years of no new clothing purchases.

The light at the end of this tunnel is that you will look far cooler than you ever have before. Isn’t the worst thing about WASP 101 the unforgivable newness of his wardrobe?

Yes, at the end of a decade of retail abstention, with your leisure time spent reading Spengler’s “The Decline of the West” and drinking cheap bourbon, you might just look as cool as these vagabond prep-school grads hopping a plane to Singapore just to find a job in finance.

The poor chap on the right can’t even afford socks. — CC

(Photo from the January 1988 issue of M. While not buying clothes for the next 10 years, be sure to visit the websites of the retailers listed in the Merchants column at right.)

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